Dec 13
Breaking News! National Post Calls Occupy Vancouver Ninjas “Leftovers”!
Well, you knew it was coming! The ninjas have really started to taco Occupy Vancouver! Time to ask them to return their costumes to Value Village!
Dec 13
OccupyPBX: Emergency Announcement! A call to the 99% to call our leaders!
About a week ago I met a very nice woman who was campaigning for #HeritageNotCondos (okay, I made up the name). She told me that the city was planning to approve one of the West End’s remaining heritage buildings to build a nasty condo! Mayor Plasticman loves to make the 1% richer- right TIDES Foundation?
I was planning to write an article, but was too busy fighting ninjas to concentrate on fighting condos. Gee, you think Harsha would have called for peace by now- she hates new condos, doesn’t she? I thought she hated them like Harper hates bicycles!
Please read this article from OpenFile Vancouver. And, if you are outraged as I am, help the 99% flood the phone lines at City Hall. Make sure you speak with every councilor, mayor, clerk and engineer you can think of speaking to! If 10,000 people vow to make 2 phone calls per-day, until the building is saved- we will prove to the city that the people are indeed more powerful than the government!
And, we will have saved another piece of our heritage from the Developers. Because, did you know that they paid a very significant percentage of our politician’s campaign funds? Isn’t that just plain wrong?
City of Vancouver Main Switchboard: 604.873.7000
Dec 13
Breaking News: Bert Easterbrook, Hero of the Stanley Cop Riot Arrested at Port Demonstration- says he was innocent!
Bert Easterbrook, hero of the Stanley Cup Riot that started at a Waves Coffee shop, and that Harsha Walia denied was connected to the #BlackBloc has just disclosed he was one of the people arrested at the port demonstration today! Bert is involved with Occupy Vancouver, but the port action was called-off by OV a few hours earlier.

Vancouver’s SunVinceTai published a story about Bert on June 17th that labelled him A hero among the rotten rioting pack! That’s quite the compliment!
Bert is a writer for Cannabis Culture magazine, and Facebook friends with Dana Larsen– a former candidate for the Pot Party and leadership candidate for the NDP who was ousted because of his background in horticulture.

This happened only one week since Mayor Plasticman made the announcement he would support pot legalization!
At the last convention, there was speculation from Alex Tsakumis that Eby could have spent time “in the Larsen hospitality suite with the windows shut and a wet towel under the door…”
Is this what Mayor Gregor means when he says he want’s Vancouver to be the world’s “greenest city?” Or, is that as a reference to the green-coloured sleeping mats that Michael Geller has been quoted cost the city $2,800 per month per-mat!

And, how did this story get linked to so many damn politicians…
Dec 12
How Cults Work- Or, does any of this look familiar?
The vast majority of people who have got involved at Occupy Vancouver are good folk- people who care enough about the problems in out world that they were motivated to go out and do something about it. To them- I applaud you.
However, there are faction(s) in the group that appear to operate outside the bounds of logic. They steadfastly refuse critical thought, and viciously attack those who exercise it. Yet, they equally steadfastly refuse to denounce the use of violence or property destruction in relation to our movement. Say what?
Someone once shared this video with us on the Occupy Vancouver Facebook page (that I was able to re-launch). Of course, you wouldn’t be able to confirm this- because, a decision was taken outside of the GA to wipe it out, eliminating 7 weeks of our organization’s history. It was the equivalent of burning the Library of Congress because .01% of the content is subversive.
Tragic…
Regardless, have a look at the video, it has an eerie similarity to the people who operate in the faction(s). And, if you are/part of OV, and you see things that remind you of your experience- the comments section is here waiting for your input…
Dec 12
A Love Letter To David Eby…
In response to A Love Letter From David Eby:
Hi David,
I’m sorry to insult you- but, this letter appears like it was written by a lawyer, not by a human being. Your letter was technically elegant, but completely lacking soul.
1.) Your Class of Travel to Prince George:
The 1% hate public transit. If their plane is ‘in the shop’ they may have to degrade themselves by flying on the same plane as the unwashed huddled masses. Down at Bohemian Grove, their most beloved ghost story is about being stuck on a Dash-8 on a flight to Prince George.
So, yes, there is no Business Class on regional flights. Thank you for correcting me on that one- you would have probably out-scored me on the aptitude test for joining the 1%. One must know these things if one is to be able to be accepted by them. Lol
2.) Your Location This Weekend:
It is good to hear you made it up to Prince George. The name of the place is a bit of a misnomer- if there were a prince there, one would be able to get themselves a bottle of Pimm’s from time-to-time, don’t you think? You lucked out with the Bread Garden plonk!
Was there something big happening up there this weekend? Because, I’m worried you didn’t come to the convention this weekend. Yes, it is tiresome to dress-down all weekend for ‘oh ye brothers and sisters‘, and it can be tiresome singing working-class songs from New Jersey– but, the huddled masses do like it, and that is the only way you will get elevated to become our benevolent leader!
3.) Alcohol Consumption
I have no doubt you enjoy a nice bottle of wine, we all figured this out back when we met you. I’m sure you had the largest collection of empty bottles in your whole frat house. And, once you moved over to Point Grey, it would have been gauche to continue bringing home a two-four. Would be just way too 99%…
I had hadn’t thought about #RiceWine before I wrote you the last letter. I asked someone who knew more about the DTES than I what was the local tipple. There were a couple choices- I chose #RiceWine over Listerine because I didn’t want to be promoting an undeserving company’s brand. But, you forced my hand on that now.
The reason for doing this was to point you looking into a mirror. It made me uncomfortable thinking that someone who is blindly labelled a ‘True Hero’ of the DTES would tweet a complaint about the fact he is fortunate enough to afford something better…
4.) Your Delayed Flight
Were you able to determine if the mechanical failure was something that was in or out of control of the airline before you disparaged their name? Could it have been a manufacturing issue- a bird hit? I certainly hope you don’t treat your butler that way- or, you may find him spitting in your kippers!
The airline business has had a rough decade– and their workforces have been at-risk of layoffs for many years. Can I beg of you to please be extra-careful next time you speak out against them? After all, the little people need their jobs- right mate?
5.) Mr. Rosenberg
Thank you for updating us on your choice of words. From the some of the things I’ve read about you on local Vancouver blogs, I’m certain you and Mr Rosenberg will hit it off big. And, since he flatters you, if you spend some time flattering him- you just may find yourselves together one night enjoying the pleasures of a Virgin Atlantic Upper Class lavatory. When the time comes for that, make sure you hit-up Mayor Gregor, he has pretty good connections at Virgin…
6.) Sexism
It is comical to read your complaints about political correctness. You are this ‘world class‘ Mother Theresa of a lawyer, and you had so little to throw at me that you correct my political correctness in a satire piece? Oy Vey!
a.) Had You been the one hiring Mr. Rosenberg, and the quote was attributed to Christy, the tagline would have been interchangeable. So, it was in no way specific to gender.
b.) The picture of Christy’s cleavage was linked to the SunVinceTai– did you complain to them? Besides, it was more a commentary on her judgement. By choosing the wrong shirt, the world was distracted from what was going on in her head (or not). A cliche at best. I expect my Grand Puba to be more on-the-ball…
You walked into that one so blindly- it deeply pains me to think you could actually have fallen for it! Did you know the word gullible isn’t in the dictionary?
7.) Bitchslapping Horses With Lawyer Cream Pies
Once again David- satire! You forget, I am probably Occupy Vancouver’s most prominent pacifist! And, I am most certainly the person who gets the most threats from ninja-clad barely pubescent angry young men. Have you been so absorbed correcting my language use that you forgot the purpose of my request?
I have been trying to tell you that the #BlackBloc have been hurting our progress here at Occupy Vancouver. I’ve not been asking you to help ‘me’, I’ve been trying to ask you to help ‘us’. Because, this sort of behaviour has been partly responsible for dropping OV’s public approval rating from 60% to 29% (at last count).
So, you really have me confused. You are afraid that I am unstable and potentially violent for asking you to help denounce violence at Occupy Vancouver? Do you not see how absurd of a statement you are making? Did you really think this through? Or, perhaps, you just don’t have a sense of humour?
Please re-read the subtitle: “Or, virtual cream pie hits Eby- Gregor & Quatchi hit with the splatter.” I just spoke to Quatchi, and he figured it out pretty quickly. He nearly blew my ears off howling when he read it!
8.) Ninjas
You have addressed a lot of things in your letter- but, not a single mention of your position on the appearance of the Black Bloc at Occupy Vancouver. This leaves me incredibly disturbed- you are supposed to be better than that….
Why the omission? Are you trying to punish me because my article didn’t adhere to the rules in the politically correct style-book? Or, did it just hurt too much when I mentioned the possibility of Christy & Rosenberg starting a physical relationship?
What could have I done that had been so important it over-rode your contributing to the success of humanity’s greatest ever opportunity to achieve universal civil liberties? If this is a temper tantrum you should be ashamed!
Sincerely,
– Greg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u9JAt6gFqM
Dec 11
Civil Liberties Czar Endures Cheap Airport Wine! (Or, virtual cream pie hits Eby- Gregor & Quatchi hit with the splatter)
Intrepid renouncer of Ninjas and defender of DTES civil rights David Eby had to endure drinking Bread Garden wine after his flight was delayed. This presumably coming home from what he reported as a trip to Prince George.
In his anger, he publicly shamed a great airline by broadcasting a picture of his “keeping it classy with bread garden wine” while waiting for his delayed flight- one can hope that he confirmed the delay was as a result of the airline and not weather, air traffic or other external factors. He may be at risk of losing his Elite card. It was unfortunate for Mr Eby to face such a challenging first-world problem.
It is uncertain if Mr Eby coughed-up his wine when he read the tweet from the Globe & Mail’s Iain Bailey- who announced that Christy Clark had to a different country to find a trusted head police investigator.
I cannot confirm David was feeling catty about this announcement in his choice of the word Flattering. We will need to wait on his response to clear-up the question.

Gregor Robertson cozies up for threesome with Quatchi & Branson
While Dave Eby drops tears into his glass of Rice Wine, he realizes he is not well enough connected to the 1%. Had he been cool enough to hang out with Branson, he’d probably be contemplating his place on Virgin Atlantic’s inaugural flight in 2012. It is unconfirmed, but one can assume there are good odds Robertson will be Flying in the Upper Class Cabin.
I’m hopeful Virgin will include beds on this route- the optics will prove real life is more bizarre than art. And, with Eby on the flight- there is a possibility for a foursome! Joining the Mile High Club together will be easier this way- though, Richard Branson has been quoted saying his employees are not the type to “bang on lavatory doors when a couple slips in there“. It is unknown if Quatchi can fit in an Upper Class lavatory…
If David can’t get on the flight- or, Quatchi doesn’t fit in the lavatory, they can always sneak into one of the many empty suites at the Olympic Village. Quatchi has some fond memories there with Sumi and Miga. (link may not be safe for office).
Prince George does not have a Maple Leaf lounge, so it is unsure which cabin Mr. Eby was seated in. Please let us pray he had the dignity of a business class fare. A question is out to Mr. Eby to confirm.
There were no cell phone recordings of police violence during this incident- nor were any Olympic mascots or stallions pleasured or cream pies thrown.
















